VVI-Pee

I just couldn’t help myself and had to comment on Paris Hilton’s experience in Beirut. Of course someone of her calbre had her own VVIP section at the Forum de Beyrouth, but the organizers forgot one thing:

A VVIP area she may have had. A VVIP toilet she didn’t, which made a bathroom run nothing short of a mission. They say girls go in pairs. Paris went with a pack.
An entourage of about eight were escorted to the bathroom (which was emptied of "normal" people first) while muscled security guards created two human walls, forming a corridor allowing her to get to the door.

What I would have paid to see that! Well, actually not as much as people actually paid to be there:

People paying up to $150 (Dh550.50) a ticket were expecting American Boy singer Estelle but were informed on the night the London-born songstress was unable to attend due to "political and security" issues.

Could this be a Gad Elmaleh scenario all over again? Is Estelle a former member of the Shin Bet?

Of course, the party was saved from beyond the grave:

It was Michael Jackson who really stole the show as the crowd was treated to a musical medley of songs from every album he created. Looking up at the stars as hit after hit began and people screamed for their favourites, from Keep it in the Closet to Thriller, the night was given a new lease of life.

No Estelle, Paris on her platform (when she wasn’t on the bathroom run), leaving it to Jackson who once again saved the day.

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• You’ll Have a Gay Old Time
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“Like Living in Beirut”

Paris may have her catch phrases but the lead singer of the Indie music group, Doves, has developed his own:

"We had a great time there but it was like living in Beirut for five days," lead singer Jimi Goodwin told Tim Lovejoy’s channelbee.com.

What is that supposed to mean? OK, we get it, it was bad, destructive, damaging, …. I can go on and on. Interestingly, the article doesn’t go on. That’s the end of the news line – what the hell is that supposed to mean?

So is that now the level we have reached in the English language? "It so Beirut" or "How Beirut" or "You’ve pulled a Beirut". Sorry Jimi, you are going to need to work harder than that. You’ll have a LLB Certificate sent to you shortly.

Oh, and speaking of Paris Hilton, she will apparently be making a stopover in the "Paris of the Middle East" thanks to an invite from The Crystal Group. I can’t control my excitement! (Seriously, I can’t wait for her to leave Dubai so that frontpages of newspapers can return to normal news).

Check out these great posts:

• “Paris of the East”
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• “It’s Like Living in Beirut!”